By Ian Ortega
After the nearly successful SIMCARD registration, the government through its great wise man OO has directed that effective December 1st (World AIDS Day), all lovers will be expected to register their respective girlfriends and boyfriends before the Christmas day.
According to the wise men like OO and TM, this has been done in order to curb girlfriend and boyfriend theft which is always rampant during the festive season.
According to Dr. TM, “the GF/BF registration will also help avoid scenarios of Bad Black where it’s impossible to locate the father of the baby in the aftermath or reproduction.”
However, huge fractions of the public have vowed to oppose this law saying it’s illegal. “Even Mr. Vision does not have the guts to register his GF, how about us?”
Other analysts wondered how the Government will deal with instances of men and women who have multiple girlfriends and boyfriends.
There is also a scenario of side-dishing. “My wife is Airtel, but I sometimes use this campus girl who is K2,” a government minister expressed his fears.
[showmyads]
However, some men are likely not to register anything and these include the mighty Pr. Wilson Bugembe, Olara Otunnu—the head of the Uganda Bachelors Association just to mention but a few.
Some ladies have multiple lines, they have lines which they use for their hair, their make-up, their music concerts and they also have lines which they just use to beep once in a while.
For now, the exercise is expected to be rolled out first in the big offices, University campuses and around top night clubs and bars.
According to the President of the Uganda Boyfriend Association (UBA), His Lordship, Ian Ortega; “this law should also take into consideration those who bought lines, got debts on them and thereafter dumped the lines.” This statement has been interpreted to mean those who impregnate girls and refuse to own up to the responsibilities.
The Muslims are expected to register up to a maximum of four girlfriends while the nuns, priests and brothers are not expected to register any boyfriend or girlfriend unless otherwise explained by Father Musala who is leading the exercise in the Catholic Church.
Uganda Girlfriends Association (UGA) has welcomed the move though it has begged for more time as they settle on which specific boyfriends to register. “We find ourselves in a tricky situation, the boyfriends who are handsome, are gay, the boyfriends who are rich are ugly, the boyfriends who are rich and handsome are very lazy in bed, the boys who have all these qualities like Ian Ortega, are already taken. We need more time as we search for our own Prince Ortegas.
Well, boyfriend and girlfriend registration is here, it’s sponsored by Speke Hotel avenue, Top Pub and Kabalagala investments just to mention but a few. We only hope that some people won’t go to register and find that their boyfriend or girlfriend is already registered; therefore, counselors will be at hand to save the situation.
For now the hashtag is:
#HaveYouRegisteredYourGF
#HaveYouRegisteredYourBF
To connect with Ian Ortega
Email: [email protected]
Phone: +256788551121
Twitter: @OrtegaUganda
Facebook: www.facebook.com/ianort