By Ian Ortega
Everything is becoming extinct in the world, first, the real masculine men became extinct, and we got metro-sexual men. Then the real feminine women became extinct and we got she-males of sorts. I write with a lot of sadness this time round because, another extinction has occurred, it’s the disappearance of the beautiful Makerere University Girls.
As I walked through MUK yesterday, I couldn’t help but get lost in thoughts pondering on the question; “where did the beautiful girls, the hot girls that were littered allover MUK go to?” I didn’t think they would disappear that fast.
First, the girls begun getting less beautiful, but we didn’t notice since they still had a good sense of fashion. However, the MUK I saw on Monday was like no other MUK before. The girls were below 4 in looks, they had the worst sense of fashion, one that would send a cold chill down a Kyambogo Girl’s spine.
I Know this may hurt many, but so what? I am already hurt by the fact that the things that made me look forward to loitering around MUK, the beautiful heavenly creations that God had placed in MUK are no more. Who ate them all? How could they disappear and not even leave a single trace of their existence?
For the first time, I didn’t see a single girl in MUK that gave me a boner. This had never happened before. In the past, even before I thought of getting to MUK, the creatures one would find in Wandegeya would be enough to declare MUK without question as the mother-land of everything that has beautiful and hotness to its name.
For the first time in many months, the hastag #BringBackOurGirls will make sense to me. It seems the Al shabaab or the Boko-Haram abducted all the beautiful girls from MUK. It’s on this note that I am calling upon the whole Guild Council to create a commission of inquiry to investigate the causes of extinction. And since dinosaurs also disappeared in such a joking manner, so are the MUK girls.
Sources have it, that most of these girls are opting for UCU, and that may be true. Because if one took a sample space from UCU, 9 out of 10 girls would be a 9 on the hotness scale of 10. But why did it have to happen to MUK?
Did the MUK dudes become very boring that the girls opted to migrate? Perhaps it’s another of those Ngoni or Luo migrations where the hot girls migrated from MUK to UCU and MUBS and the ugly ones migrated from KYU and Busitema to MUK.
Cry beloved Makerere University because things have fallen apart. The moment the female lecturers begin to look more attractive than the female students they lecture, you know that something is amiss.
What happened to the beautiful girls at MUK? Could they be hiding in Nana, Karlmax or at Olympia? Because they can’t even be traced along the Kikoni streets, not even in Kikumi kikumi?
I am writing this article as a notice of appeal to anyone who find a beautiful MUK girl. Kindly Whatsapp her photo to my number 0788-551-121 and if you are a beautiful MUK girl and you believe you exist, send me a nude photo of yourself on 0788-551-121 or contact me via my blog.
Otherwise, if 30 days pass without any response, I will sermon the elders of this country, the former and current prime ministers, the president, the Ugandan Police and the Ugandan Army and we shall quickly begin a one year mourning period as a way of grieving for the death and extinction of the hot girls, the beautiful girls, the ones with milk and honey properties, the ones who stir up boners in us, yes we shall be mourning for our sweet pretty girls that used to fill up Makerere University.
For God and Our University.