By Ian Ortega
The reason they are called chics is because you have to run after them so long and so fast so that you can get them. But this girl is more than a chic. I presume she is an eagle. It is now two semesters since I began running after her. But she is worth the chase, worth the wallet emptying.
So last weekend, I was celebrating that she had finally agreed to a dinner date. All week I had been saving so hard, had cut down my expensive desires and was all waiting to splash money on her. The bad side to it is that she is studying to be a luganda and economics teacher. For this reason, I all ended up like a beaten fox, my pockets smell of poverty like a hyena carcass after last week’s events.
So here comes the dinner date, as usual they arrive late but this one arrived early. She was so early that I could not help notice that she was here for business. After doing round one of drinks, it was round three now. She gave me that look that made me quickly order for nyama choma for her. My only quarrel with her is her sense of quality. She likes only the labels. The problem with labels is one time they are blue, another time they are black or white. So for my date, she ordered all blends.
But I was not minding about her downing of bottles at random. In fact it was to my advantage that in the end she would be too weak to get to her place all alone and thus would enlist my help. It was the only way I would get to know her residence. After heaping up a bill in tens of thousands she excused herself and said “Ian, Kankomewo mukwano” which would literally mean “Ian, let me get back sweetheart.”
Two hours, gone and she was not coming back. People were beginning to leave the bar for their homes. I called her number, it was off, and perhaps she was charging it from the ladies lavatories. Mosquitoes were now biting me; the coldness was pinching in, how I wished my sweetheart could get back quickly.
Then this waiter comes and tells me, “excuse me sir, we are closing, please clear your bill.” I told him that I was waiting for my honey-pie and would clear up when she got back. But he could not have any of it, he called the bar manager and told him that I was becoming adamant to clear up the bill.
So I explained to the bar manager and said “Wama, my sweetheart said she is coming back!” The bar manager asked whether she said it in luganda or in English. I told him that she said “Kankomewo” The bar manager and the waiter burst into laughter. They asked to know my name which apparently begins with an ‘O’.
The bar manager told me gently that in luganda Kankomewo means: Have a nice day see you another time. I fainted; in fact I have just come out of my coma to narrate this dating experience.
To all men out there, make sure you master the language of your girlfriends well enough otherwise you might end up like me. Money gone, time wasted, luganda battered, all by myself on a cold night.
“[katogoaward]”
