Due to the desire for men to make their partners achieve orgasm, most have taken to asking this question after, or even during sex; Did you cum?
You might think you are asking out of concern and this is supposed to show how passionate you are about pleasing her, but here are 5 big reasons why this is a terrible idea, and what you should do instead.
1. She knows what you want to hear
Here’s the thing, A LOT of women fake orgasms. And if they fake it to avoid hurting your feelings, they will lie when you ask for the same reason. They know that the only acceptable answer to this question is ‘Yes.’ If she says ‘no’, it will make you feel uncomfortable, and even pissed off. So, when you ask this question, you are extremely unlikely to get an honest answer if she did not orgasm.
2. It reeks of insecurity
Men who are confident about their sex skills do not ask this question. They do not need to. They know how to please a woman, they know what turns her on and how to get her there. Even if they doubt she orgasmed, they will only endeavour to do better next time. When you ask her if she came, she will see you as insecure. And we all know women are not big fans of insecure men. It will forever affect the way she looks at you.
3. It is annoying
The only thing worse than asking a woman if she came is asking her every single time you have sex, or asking her multiple times during sex. Frankly, it is irksome and distracting. It’s like a child who keeps bugging you about the same thing. At some point, you do not find it ‘nice’ or ‘charming,’ you are simply annoyed.
4. It puts her under pressure
A woman is less likely to orgasm if she is not relaxed. If you keep asking her, she will understand that this is your aim and this will put her in a lot of pressure to achieve orgasm. She will be so worried about lying to you that she will be tensed and more focused on that, rather than enjoying the lovemaking.
5. She WILL NOT cum
Unless you know her body language and when she is about to cum, please stop randomly asking her questions like ‘did you cum?’ ‘Are you cumming?’ “How many times have you cum?’ Doing this will guarantee that she will not cum. For a woman to orgasm, she needs to be swept away by the pleasure of sex, not interrogated like she stole something from you.
What to do instead.
Know her body. Learn what turns her on. Focus on pleasing her. Every woman has a tell for when they are cumming and all women are different. So, take the time to know her own tell. It is that thing (no matter how little) that changes. Once you know that, then you will never need to ask and she will never need to lie. If you know the tell and you notice that sometimes she does not cum, avoid making an issue out of it. Women are not required to orgasm every single time they have sex. Just watch out for the things you were doing that worked for her and keep doing that. Sex is supposed to be fun. Simply have fun.
Source: Pulse.ng