By Isaac Mites
It was socially unacceptable and a taboo subject years ago to be an expectant mother before bride price was paid but these days, there are lots of mothers-to-be who aren’t married. Marriage customarily means meeting of parents on either side, negotiating and paying off bride price. Religiously it means to tie the knot subject to fulfilling prior arrangements i.e. the customary part.
Do you know someone who is knocked up but not married? The interest of questioning is to know why people view marriage as an essential element before children. Does marriage make one a better parent?
Well, BigeyeUg team had a chance to interact with people of different age groups and they all seemed to have contradicting views.
The first age group is composed of the young youth i.e. 18-26 years of age and most of these people were absolutely fine with the idea of being a parent even without visiting the church or being in line with the customs for that matter. However, a few were not quite familiar with the idea and had no say but it seemed that incase anything happened they can swallow it in good faith.
The second age group is the mature youth aging from 27 to late 30’s. This age bracket had mixed up and confusing thoughts. But most of them posed several questions and the most pressing one were, “Will I tie the knot with my partner of seven years before the pitter-patter of baby feet is heard? Or Do I want to have a shotgun wedding?”
And according to the last group to be interviewed, those are the “Zeyis”, the subject was quite unbearable. Most of them seemed to have a single chorus question, “Why am I having a child out of wedlock?” However, some of them seemed to have a different view. “I know lots of couples who had children before they wed. I also know couples who tied the knot, had children and divorced,” one of them said. He continued to say that what really matters is LOVE.
We also happened to interact with a few religious leaders on a personal level and these were some of their views.
“In my faith my values system is that children are the fruit of two people who not only love each other but have made a commitment to each through the act of marriage,” a pastor said. He then continued that therefore the children are that natural flow of love and commitment. And he therefore concluded saying that a child has a right to be raised by a mother and a father in a secure relationship which we call marriage.
Another leader of a church had a different opinion. He pointed out that his role was not to judge or condemn the world and that his values were connected to his faith. He continued to say that in his position it’s not his job to judge the world, unmarried with children or not, you are always welcome.
So we present the same question to you. What’s your opinion on Kids before Marriage?