Is honesty the best policy? Some husbands don’t think so! Though the offenses that follow are all forgivable, they’re easy to prevent.
Here, nine of the most common lies husbands tell their wives, why they do it and how to keep your man fib-free.
Lie #1: “You don’t look fat in that dress.”
Why he says it: You asked-and your husband prefers boosting your confidence over telling the truth.
How to keep him honest: Rather than ask, “Does this dress make me look fat?” have your husband help you choose between two outfits, suggests Doug Hirschhorn, author of 8 Ways to Great: Peak Performance on the Job and in Your Life.
Lie #2: “Yes, I cleaned up already.”
Why he says it: “Men confuse intention with action,” says Hirschhorn. Your husband plans to do the chore eventually, so in his mind, it’s as good as done.
How to keep him honest: Give your guy a specific deadline (“Please hang up your clothes by Saturday morning”) and explain why it’s important that he finishes by then (“My parents are coming over that day”).
Lie #3: “This GPS was half the original price.”
Why he says it: He cuts the cost so you’re less likely to disapprove of his purchase, says Terri Orbuch, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great.
How to keep him honest: Tell him that being lied to is worse than dealing with a big expense, and that you’d rather discuss buying high-priced items before he brings them home so that you can talk about finances rationally.
Lie #4: “Everything’s OK.”
Why he says it: Even when your husband is clearly worried, he may not tell you what’s bugging him because men prefer to solve their own problems, says Ori Goldstein, a workshop leader who frequently works with married couples.
How to keep him honest: “Respond with, ‘It seems like there’s something on your mind. Are you sure there’s nothing at all bothering you?'” advises Goldstein. Your husband may not share everything then, but he’ll be more likely to open up about one of his troubles.
Lie #5: “I like all of your friends.”
Why he says it: Your closest pal may get on your husband’s nerves, but he won’t flat-out say he doesn’t like her; he’s afraid you’ll be mad that he doesn’t like someone who’s important in your life.How to keep him honest: Let him express his full opinion about your girlfriend (“She complains a lot, but she’s loyal to you”) instead of asking him if he likes her, recommends Hirschhorn.
Lie #6: “I need to go to the grocery store.”
Why he says it: Your fridge is fully stocked, so he doesn’t need to go. What he really needs is some alone time (who doesn’t?!). He assumes admitting that will make you upset, says Goldstein.
How to keep him honest: Asking him why he’s really going when he’s already looking to leave won’t get you any answers. A little while after he’s returned, remind your husband that you understand he wants to be by himself occasionally and that telling you when he does won’t offend you.
Lie #7: “I only had two drinks.”
Why he says it: Coming home after a night out and confessing that he’s really had four or five drinks may make you view him as irresponsible. He doesn’t want you to think of him that way or give him a hard time about it, says Hirschhorn.
How to keep him honest: As long as this is a rare occurrence, let him know you’re glad he took public transportation, a cab or got a ride home from someone sober and you don’t think any less of him for letting loose. This judgment-free response may get him to talk about his night.
Lie #8: “My mother liked dinner.”
Why he says it: It’s important to your husband that you get along with his family, says Orbuch. Sharing his mom’s unedited thoughts could prevent that.
How to keep him honest: Tell your husband it’s OK to mention when his mother is unhappy-or better yet, have him tell her she can voice her concerns directly to you. Let him know you won’t hold her remarks against him and you’ll still treat her kindly.
Lie #9: “I wasn’t out with John or Eddie tonight.”
Why he says it: He knows you think some of his friends are a bad influence, but he doesn’t want to choose between making you happy and being with people he likes, says Hirschhorn.
How to keep him honest: Let your husband know that even though you dislike some of his friends, you trust he won’t do anything to upset you. Make it clear that if he’s truthful about whom he’s with, you won’t get mad at him.
Source: Graphic Online