We all handle breakups in our own way. Some people throw themselves into work; some people cry under their desk. Some people go out like crazy; others hibernate in their house for weeks. Some people even spend their time writing really sad Yelp reviews of all the places they went with their ex.
Handle it however works for you, but there are a few guidelines of things you probably shouldn’t do. No stalking and no major life changers were among the five things NOT to do after a breakup we talked about a while back, and we stand by those statements. But here are another five behaviors we think you should try to avoid while you’re healing your heart.
Don’t…panic. The older you get, the more it can feel like a breakup is a huge setback to your life’s timeline. What if you never find someone? What if that was your last chance? Well, it might feel that way now, but it wasn’t. So don’t freak out and start texting all your previous boyfriends to see if any of them are still single, and hey, by the way, should we give it another try? No, you shouldn’t. You can be sad without thinking the world is ending.
Don’t…turn into a bad friend. You’ll probably need to lean on your friends for support during this time, and they should gladly step up with hugs, girls’ nights out, and letting you drone on for hours about what went wrong, even when they are so bored of you they can barely take it. Let them take care of you, but don’t take advantage of their kindness or forget to return the favor yourself. Being sad is no excuse for blowing them off when they need you, or being resentful of their happy relationship.
Don’t…go too crazy treating yourself. Yes, go on and get a massage, have ice cream for dinner, buy yourself a gorgeous new bag. A little retail therapy or sugar rush can do you good post-breakup, and you deserve that. But don’t go into credit card debt or forget to eat any vegetables for a month straight. You don’t want to finally feel cheered up only to find yourself with a vitamin deficiency and 13 voice mails from bill collections.
Don’t…torture yourself. Don’t plan dinner at the restaurant where you had your first date. Don’t flip through a photo album of the two of you while listening to sad Billie Holiday songs. And for the love of God, don’t go to Bed Bath and Beyond on a Sunday or any other guaranteed Land of Smug Couples. Try to put yourself in situations that will cheer you up, not send you into an emergency session with your therapist.
Don’t…be too hard on yourself. Whether you did one of the don’ts, or it’s just taking you a lot longer to feel back on your game, don’t beat yourself up. Just start fresh the next day and do your best.
Source: Daily Graphic
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