By Pat. A.K. Mukuru ii
1.Guys avoid sending friend requests to ladies who have so many friends. She will probably never recognise your presence, you will be reduced only to a mere LIKER or COMMENTER .
2.Avoid comments such as “lovely eyes”, “gorgeous” “you are so hot”, “mama nyabo” “sexy butt” etc on her best photos. You realize that you are not the only one with such comments and who has liked the said snap. To attract her attention, like or comment on her not so nice photos. She will say “oba who is this?” and “visit” you too.
3.Never write anything seductive on her wall. This annoys just. I hear “I miss you baby”…missing who 2mbavu? She even barely knows you exist.
4.Avoid writing explicit stuff in her in box or sending “bad” snaps of your small weak “pin”. It just shows how a villager you are. Ladies on facebook don’t date villagers.
5.If you have a fake profile picture, don’t even try e.g snaps of Jay Z, Will smith, Brad Pitt etc What are you hiding? Ladies on facebook don’t usually date criminals.
6.Avoid lies such as; works at- Managing Director\CEO of Wankulukuku investments Ltd. Be yourself. If you are a farmer like me say it. The day you meet her and she asks for 15 shots of tequila, don’t blame me. They prefer honest chaps. A honest toilet “simer” is more likely to hook her up than you.
7.Attract her to your page by making it interesting. For instance, look at my timeline from 2009, With all those LIKES she can believe you are a celeb or at least a somebody even if you are a nobody like me. She would then like to “find out” . Remember, ladies don’t like people who are “nobodys”. But you have to prove that you are worth listening to first. After she Likes, hit her inbox ASAP and Get a phone number tactfully. Reduce communication with her on facebook thereafter… use more of Whatsapp… hehe... if she has no smartphone, then buy her one….( this one is not for broke people, okay!)
8.Clean thy wall. Things you posted in 2009 may not be the best much as you don’t remember and most of us rarely check. For instance, I checked my wall of 2009 and there is something I posted that said “am doing a 3some”…..goodness gracious!!…..obviously I was joking.
9.Always be the first or last to comment on a Status. Guys in the middle of 30 comments are negligible. If you ain’t the first, come back after all the other lousy guys are done.
10.When you attract her attention, utilise that opportunity to the fullest. Facebook is so fast. After a day or two, she may have probably forgotten the incident.
11.And finally, if you get the chance to meet her and she is actually not what you expected, be nice and treat her like you would have done if you had liked her. Be a Gentleman. Facebook is a “network”. If you treat her bad, She will tell everyone what an a-hole you are and we shall all know in a matter of minutes,…then we block you and put your Chi-face on all groups and pages as a child sacrificer.
“[katogoaward]”
