By Ian Ortega
Mbu these days, KAMPALA MEN rank chics according to Restaurants/Hangouts.
1. Amnesia Chics: These ones make you forget about your job, your wallet, your problems. They are so beautiful that they make you forget your name. If you have any problems, hook up an Amnesia Chic.
2. KFC Chic: This one has perfect bintu; perfect boobs, perfect legs, but she doesn’t come cheap. These are chics every man is dying to have. Their fashion is superb, their accent is superb, their booty is superb, their academic level is superb. These are usually marriage material.
3. Chicken Tonight: These are Plan-B girls, you only check them out during emergencies, like when it rains nga your girlfriend is far away, like when you need it urgently. You hit and run.
4. Sound Cup: These are very religious girls but with a great sense of class. You only talk to her about the Share market, the economy and music genres like Jazz and Soul.
5. Cafe Javas: These are chics where you are not so sure about what they want from you, whether your love or your wallet. They are hypocrites. They will deceive you mbu they are virgins kumbe….
6. Asylum Chics: These ones are addictive. The moment you fall in love with her, it’s difficult to fall out of love. They are the isssh….. they will put you in a bottle…. and you will keep wondering why you don’t get over them. You just keep coming back to them.
6. Venom Chics: These are poisonous, they will poison your wallet, your mind, your sex-life, and everything you do. You date them at your own risk because the consequences last a life-time.
7. Casablanca chics: These ones are real prostitutes… tebayina na mukamwa… though they are ugly!
8. Blue Bar kireka: You will never know if it is night or day because they don’t care, they drink 24/7. They don’t have no mukamwa ate beba nakyagaba. They like bodabodas and taxis, anti tezisela.
9. Nandos Chics: These ones are shy girls, they have curfews at home and very strict dads, and they are just survivors, it’s hard to find a hot chic at Nandos. They enjoy pizza and hang-out with their friends, they know nothing else on the menu apart from burgers, soda and pizza.
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