If you’ve been wondering if your husband’s manhood is above or below average, listen up. British researchers looked at more than 15,500 men to identify the average size. Drumroll, please: The average erect penis is 5.2 inches. The average flaccid one is 3.6 inches.
Even if he’s on the shorter side of the spectrum, you know that it’s not just size that matters. Chances are, you already have plenty of steamy strategies…but things can always get hotter. We asked Sari Locker, Ph.D., sexuality educator and author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Amazing Sex, for surprising ways to make your next tryst way more exhilarating.
Secret #1: Play with positions. Bigger does not necessarily equal better. It’s all about compatibility and personal preference. “If a woman’s vagina is tight and his penis is large, it might hurt,” explains Locker. “If her vagina is wide, and a penis is small, she might not feel enough sensation during intercourse.” So it’s more about finding the right positions than focusing on his measurements. Think about it: Cowgirl can cause problems because you’re not close to his body, and you’re decreasing the potential to cause friction (which is what leads to your orgasm). Try this spin on missionary instead. Lie on your back, and tilt your pelvis toward the mattress. Instead of keeping your legs flat like you would in standard missionary, bend them up toward your chest, and keep your head elevated on pillows. This increases pressure against your vaginal walls as he thrusts, and shortens your vaginal canal so you feel like he’s going in deeper.
Secret #2: Read something racy. In a recent survey of married couples, a fifth of men and women had read Fifty Shades of Grey. Of those who read it, 65 percent said their sex life changed as a result! No matter your guy’s size, a little reading material can do wonders between the sheets. Try Ellora’s Cave, a database of thousands of erotic novels that was launched by a woman who saw a need for more romance in erotica. The stories feature smart, assertive heroines, and many of them are in committed relationships—like you. Choose your preference from least to most explicit (categorized as Blush, Romantica and Exotika), then read it with your man—and maybe act out a few scenes if you’re feeling daring.
Secret #3: Shock him at movie night. Pretend you and your guy are just having a typical Saturday night where you watch a rom-com or an action movie. Then surprise him by turning off the lights and turning on a sexy movie. Once you’re both ready, suggest this position, which works especially well in the living room if your guy is smaller. While you sit on the edge of the sofa, have him stand or kneel, depending on the height of the couch. When he enters you, he’ll be going up at a slight angle, so his penis should hit the top wall of your vagina—in the direction of your G-spot—and there’ll be added pressure and tightness to help achieve that orgasm-inducing friction.
Secret #4: Explore uncharted territory. Let’s be honest: If you’re going to try anal for the first time, it will be more painful if your husband is bigger. So a smaller guy may be more comfortable (still, be sure to use plenty of lube—this is one time where you don’t want a ton of friction). And despite its reputation, doggy style isn’t necessarily the best position. “Many women find that the most enjoyable position for anal is when they are on top squatting over the man when he is lying down,” says Locker. “This way, she can control the depth and angle of penetration, and the woman or her partner has full access to her clitoris.”
Secret #5: Bring in other body parts. Sex is not just about the penis meeting the vagina. When it becomes a total-body experience, it’s so much more pleasurable; bringing some of your other muscles in on the action can increase arousal and help you feel more “filled up” if he’s smaller. “Grip his body by squeezing your thighs together, and tighten your stomach,” suggests Locker. And don’t forget other feel-good zones beyond his penis. “Gently rub his scrotum, or massage the area between the scrotum and anus,” she says. The coccyx, or tailbone, is also filled with nerve endings, so applying gentle pressure next time he’s on top can make a world of a difference.
Secret #6: Do it doggy style. While you may not want to try it during your first anal sex adventure, this position is perfect for those moments you want deep vaginal penetration. The key is to make sure his legs are open while yours are close together to get a perfectly tight fit. Then, for an even tighter sensation, angle your body down by resting on your forearms instead of your hands, or even lying your head and shoulders flat on the bed.
Secret #7: Just breathe. Many women breathe rapidly during sex, and then they hold their breath when they’re about to come. Stop that! You can easily increase the intensity of your orgasm and make the experience last a deliciously long time just by regulating your breathing. We know it’s easier said than done, but as you become more turned on, focus on taking slow deep breaths; resist the urge to hold your breath. This way, you’ll let the tension build . . . and build . . .until, well, you can’t help but have a toe-curling orgasm even Christian Grey would be proud of.
Secret #8: Try a new time. In a recent survey of the sex habits of married couples, nearly 30 percent of women said they wished their husbands lasted longer. Turns out, you’re the key to making that wish come true—all you have to do is switch up your routine. Testosterone levels in men peak overnight, so they’re ready to go in the a.m. and can often last longer during a morning nookie sesh. Most couples have sex at night before they hit the hay, but when you’re both exhausted work, kids and the day’s stressors don’t leave much in the tank for your trip to pleasure town. Go for a morning quickie, and have a naughty smile on your face all day.
Secret #9: Move outside the vagina. If we have to shout it from the rooftops for men to get the memo, we will: “Most women have orgasms from clitoral stimulation, not from vaginal intercourse alone,” says Locker. And since the penis doesn’t even come into contact with the clit during the majority of common sex positions, size is irrelevant. That said, Locker says it’s critical that you, as a woman, know how you like to be stimulated for maximum pleasure. She recommends using your fingers (or his) in various patterns—some women like slow, circular motions while others prefer a faster speed, or even more of a tapping motion. Figure out your go-to’s, and consider experimenting with vibrators, for a serious send-off.
Source: Redbookmag.com