So many times. That’s how often you’ve had sex with your partner. The two of you have got things between the sheets figured out — you even have a tiny, bald roommate to show for it. But sex for the first time since your vagina birthed said human? That feels like more like the great, awkward unknown than that time you tried to pull off the Hot Pretzel move after a few glasses of wine.
Dealing with those first-time feels can be a little nerve-racking, but it doesn’t have to be. “Often, I find that women and their partners worry about sex being different after having a baby,” says Kelly Kasper, M.D., an OB/GYN at Indiana University of Health. “To a certain extent that is true, but your sex life can go back to the way it was before having a child.” Consider this your guide to getting it on post-childbirth.
1. How Long Will You Have to Wait to Get It On!?
Ideally, you shouldn’t think about getting hot and heavy with your partner until it’s been at least six weeks since you’ve delivered your baby — potentially up to eight weeks if you had a C-section, Kasper says. “Vaginal birth can cause lacerations that need time to heal,” she explains. “But even if everything seems fine on the surface, there can be unseen injuries, like trauma to underlying tissue, which is why it’s recommended to wait.” And a C-section is considered a major surgery, so don’t feel guilty about giving your bod a break.
But when your doctor does give you the green light, make sure you think about contraception. “It will probably take six to eight weeks for your period to come back — longer if you’re breastfeeding — but you can ovulate before getting your period, and if you’re ovulating you can get pregnant,” Kasper says.
2. Know That It Won’t Be the Same
It’s about to go down — but visions of your breasts leaking all over the place are scaring you sex-less. Truth: “At first, sex probably won’t be the same,” Kasper says. “Your body has been through a lot during childbirth. But be realistic and patient with yourself, and things will get back to normal.”
3. Spoiler Alert: You’ll Be Sore
Yep, sex may hurt a little bit, or, OK, even more than a little bit. “The pain shouldn’t be terrible,” Kasper says. “But if you experienced any tearing or had an episiotomy during childbirth, that results in scar tissue, which can make sex uncomfortable.” Over time, the tissue softens up and things should feel normal.
A go-to position? Spooning. It helps keep the weight off of you and allows you to control the pace.
4. You Won’t Be as Tight — But Don’t Freak Out!
It won’t last forever. “After a baby passes through the birth canal, it can cause a new mother’s vagina to feel not as tight as it used to be,” Kasper says. “And that may make things feel a little different for you and your partner.” This doesn’t mean your vagina is ruined. Practicing Kegel exercises can help tighten you right back up. In the meantime: Sex will still feel amazing.
Try this position: Lay on your back and scoot to the edge of the bed. Have your partner stand, and as he enters you, cross your legs like an X. It helps things feel more snug.
5. You May Need a Bottle of Lube
If you’re breastfeeding, you may experience some vaginal dryness. Estrogen is key for keeping things lubricated down there, but those levels can drop when breastfeeding, Kasper says. This is a quick-fix problem: Just keep some lube nearby. (And go for missionary position. It will be easy to reach for the lube if you need it.)
6. OK, Fine — Your Boobs Could Leak
“When you orgasm, the rush of hormones, like oxytocin, can cause your breasts to release milk,” Kasper says. What causes the not-so-sexy buzzkill? Those same hormones are released when you’re breastfeeding, to help you bond with your baby. Hey, there are enough liquids flowing around anyway, so don’t let it dampen your groove. And chances are your partner is so obsessed with your bigger-than-average cup size he won’t even notice.
Try sitting up when you do the deed. If your boobs do decide to go haywire, then nothing is spraying in anyone’s face.
7. …But Get Ready for an Amazing Orgasm
Between dry vaginas and leaking boobs, sex for the first time after having a baby probably isn’t sounding so hot, but actually, wait: All of the hormones floating around your system can cause things to feel really good. And the surge of closeness you feel to your partner after bringing a person into the world together can create a level of intimacy that will make things feel even better. (And if nothing else, this is the first time in nine months where there hasn’t been a bump between the two of you. Hurrah!)
8. There Might Be Some Blood
You may wrap up your romp and feel incredible — or not. If sex didn’t feel as awesome as you’d hoped or things were a little clumsy, just know that it takes time for your sex life to snap back to what it used to be, and that’s OK.
You may also experience a little bleeding post-action, and that’s totally normal, Kasper says. When you have an orgasm, it can cause your uterus to contract, which results in some bleeding. But if you have heavy bleeding or extreme pain, talk to your doctor to make sure you’re healing properly.
Source: Redbookmag.com