Every marriage has its ups and downs, but when you hit a really rough spot, where do you turn? Sure, there’s couples counseling, but not every couple (and definitely, let’s face it, not every guy) takes to it. In fact, just as every relationship is different, so is the recipe for fixing it.
When you’ve got a good thing going — even if your relationship isn’t as solid right now as you know it can be — it’s worth taking some risks to hold on to it. And for people ready to try anything, there are some awfully imaginative ideas out there.
Here, what these five real-life couples did to get back on the road to happily ever after.
Steps from Dr. David Hawkins, expert and director of the Marriage Recovery Center, gave a best solution to young lass to safely keep her marriage from collapse.
First, don’t panic. Anxiety rarely helps us think clearly. Often, when feeling anxious, we react instead of respond thoughtfully. Our best decisions occur after rest, Godly counsel, and reflection. The wisest man on Earth said, “When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider; God has made the one as well as the other.” (Ecclesiastes 7:14)
Second, do nothing to harm or injure your mate. While things don’t look good, sometimes the best action is no action. Stop doing the things that aggravate the situation. Cancel the appointment with the attorney. Don’t do anything that places you in an adversarial role with your mate. Stop doing those things you know irritate your mate. Stopping the hemorrhage saves many lives. Make the decision to do no harm.
Third, listen to your mate. Your wife left because of things you’ve been doing that hurt her. It is unlikely she came to this decision easily. What has your mate been trying to get across to you? What changes is she desperate for? Seek opportunities to listen to her. Even if you don’t have a formal conversation with her, I suspect there are subtle ways she makes her message known. Listen carefully. Make a list of those things she needs to set out to make the necessary changes.
Fourth, meet your mate at their point of need. Consider what your mate needs. Some of the things she may be making perfectly clear to you, such as a need for space. Some of her needs may be unspoken, and you’ll need to figure those out for yourself. Perhaps she has a need for respect. Give it to her, even in the midst of being separated. Perhaps she has a need to be valued and treasured. Give it to her, in small but significant ways.
Fifth, become the best version of yourself you can be. This tragedy is an opportunity for you to remember why your wife fell in love with you. What are the characteristics that made you irresistible twenty years ago? Reflect and resurrect those old qualities. It’s time to again become daring, adventuresome, caring and charming. These qualities won her heart once before; they may do so again.
Sixth, be patient. Even though you are separated, and fear you will never get a chance to prove you are different, that is not the case. You will have ample opportunities—perhaps in small ways—to show her you are dedicated to change. Letting her know you will wait, and are dedicated to a change process, can be powerfully attracting. Show her, over time, that you are committed to change.
Finally, commit everything to prayer. The Scripture is clear: “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.” (Psalms 127:1) You must seek the Lord’s guidance and follow his lead. Prayer is your pathway to peace. Prayer not only can change her heart, but yours. Then you can feel the peace of God in your heart and life.
Source: GraphicOnline
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