I’m not a prude. That’s not to say I’m easy. I’m not. I just like sex and am not opposed to having a one-night stand if the situation presents itself.
That said, it doesn’t take a whole lot to turn me on, either. But like most women, I’m easily turned off. I don’t expect you to be perfect — no hair out of place, land every joke with impeccable comedic timing, or spend a ridiculous amount of money on me to prove your interested. But I do require you to act like a civilized human being, and treat me the same.
You’d be surprised as how often that’s too much to ask. That doesn’t mean our personalities will mesh, but at the very least it gives us a chance to see how things will shake out. And if you play your cards right, I’m down to get down. However, do any of these seven things, and you’re sleeping alone …
#1. YOU HAVE NO DIRTY-TALK FILTER
There’s a fine line between using words that rev us up or make us want to dart out of your apartment. Women, as reported in 2007, hate the word “moist” (as in “moist panties”). Also, using the “C” word, excessive cursing or slang terms for genitalia are also off of the table. Use your head. Pick out something specific and non-obvious about what’s turning you on.
Don’t comment on how tight my ass is, or how big my breasts are. Yawn. Instead, turn your attention to my hair, eyeliner, or outfit. Those things were done to get your attention, so throw me a bone and let me know it worked. Knowing I succeeded is a huge turn on.
#2. You Incessantly Remind Us You’re Horny
We get it — you want to get laid. So do we, trust me. But what we don’t want is to feel like you’re with us just for the sex. Then we feel cheap and used. Unless it’s a one-off statement that fits in with an activity we’re doing, leave the sex talk alone. And if you must bring it up, take this bit of advice: If she gets a look on her face as though you just sneezed green phlegm on her, don’t bring it up again that evening. Period. In fact, you might want to consider never brining it up again. Read: Warm up your hand.
#3. Your Bathroom Is A Pigsty
And so is your bedroom. And kitchen. And closet. — you get the idea. If you live in a filth pit, I’ll think you’re a slob who can’t take care of himself or anyone else. I don’t sleep with slobs. And it’s not even like you should keep your place clear of clutter to get laid; you should do it because you’re an educated and civilized goddamn adult, not a jobless frat boy.
#4. You Treat Servers, Clerks, Etc. Like Garbage
Let your hubris run amok and we’re going to put the lock on our panties (notice how I didn’t say “moist panties?). If we see you talking down to servers or valets or anyone, we’ll start to think that, eventually, you’ll do the same to us. It’s more than a turnoff; it’s a red flag that signals we should cut bait.
#5. You Don’t Care If We Finishes
If you’re had sex a few times and the activities always end the same — you satisfied, her wanting more — that’s not going to last much longer. We know you have hands and mouths along with … other penetrative limbs. So use them! If you refuse to, she will end up looking elsewhere for it. Trust me, I’m talking from experience here.
#6. You Don’t Know How to Tease Her Properly
Whether it’s a style of music or an activity or a TV show, knowing the line between playful teasing to ball-busting to being an insulting asshole is crucial. I’m not saying you need to agree with everything she we do or say — robotic “Yes” men are insufferable — but learning how to banter with her can enhance your jokes, make you look more sensitive, and nonjudgmental.
#7. You Overuse The Word ‘Hate’
If you’re perspective is negative we positively won’t want to sleep with you. And a huge downer is someone who uses the overuses “hate” in conversation. From sports teams to movies to style fads, don’t unload everything that pisses you off. It makes us feel like being with you is a drag. And when’s the last time you wanted to take your pants off while you were bored or annoyed? I’ll answer for you — never, ever, ever, ever, ever.
Source: Modern Man
