It can be pretty frustrating when you look forward to a fulfilling and satisfying sexual experience, only for things to ‘finish’ before they’ve even begun.
Having sex with a man who can’t keep it up more than a few seconds, or who cums within moment of penetration can leave you feeling flat. So, what to you do to make sure you are also getting yours in the bedroom?
1. Don’t ignore the elephant:
The elephant in the room, that is. Whether this is an out-of-the-blue occurrence, or you have been dealing with this for a while, do make sure you talk to your partner about it. However, do not bring this up in the bedroom. Find a neutral ground and discuss openly. Let him know you enjoy making love to him and it is because you enjoy it that you feel a bit down when he finishes before you. If he is willing to communicate, he might be able to pinpoint a root cause so you can both find a solution. You can ask him what you can do to make things better. Most men want to last longer to please their women, so he should be willing to give you tips that will tone down his excitement.
2. Slow down:
Men who cum too early are not big fans of quickies. The excitement and thrill might be too much for them to contain. What works? Slow down. Keep things slow and easy. Enjoy a gentle foreplay and keep the sex light.
3. Choose positions wisely:
Sex positions where women do more of the work are usually great for men with the quick draw. Go with Cowgirl, Reverse Cowgirl, or any position where you are in charge. This also lets you slow things down or even stop if you notice he is getting too excited. If he is in charge, he won’t be able to stop himself.
4. Use condoms:
This may not work for all men, but a lot of men do say using condoms desensitizes them to some extent. There are actually condoms in the market made for this purpose too. So, if you have been going skinny dipping before now, then you should consider getting some condoms.
5. Avoid overstimulating:
Sex feels so much hotter when you stimulate as much body parts as possible, but for a man who cannot keep it in, the less stimulant, the better. If you usually tease him by playing with his nipples or other erogenous zones during sex, maybe you should cut back. Give him a chance to focus on just penetration and see where that leads you.
6. Get him to tone down masturbation/Porn:
If your man is into extreme masturbation or pornography, it is time to get him to stop. Studies have shown that men who watch too much porn find it difficult to keep things under control. They are stimulated 24/7 so when they finally penetrate a woman, they are already almost there, causing them not to last long. Get him to take a break for a couple of weeks to see if this changes things.
7. Ladies first:
If you have tried all of the above and its not helping, then it’s time for him to put you first. Get a vibrator or whatever you are into, have him focus on making you cum before penetration actually begins. He could perform oral on you, use his hands or use the toys. Focusing on your pleasure can keep him from getting too hot. If you’re lucky, you can even orgasm before the real show begins. This will make you feel less disappointed. Besides, the fact that he has gotten you off will make him feel less pressured, so he can relax enough and actually last longer.
Source: Pulse.ng