Deciding to devote yourself to another person is truly an immense undertaking; one that’s not to be taken lightly. How will you know if it’s going to last or not? What mistakes will you try to avoid? What have you learned from previously failed relationships? The questions go on and on.
When you decide to commit yourself spiritually, physically, and emotionally to another being, you’re making a pact not only to that other person, but to yourself; a promise that you are somehow invested in the future of this relationship. From establishing your emotional home-base during the beginnings of a new relationship to experiencing the different stages of intimacy, relationships are full of highs and lows, and whether you’re on your way up the roller coaster, teetering at the top, or about to make the final plunge down, it can be a scary ride. When considering your own relationship, consider these five types that never last.
1. The relationship in which one feels unsafe, unloved, or unsatisfied
Any of these might be a pretty big red flag in terms of not being in a happy relationship, but when it comes to actually leaving that relationship, it’s not necessarily crystal clear. If you’ve ever experienced any of these feelings, and have indeed left a partner that made you feel such a way, then it’s fairly easy to spot the problem areas, as hindsight is typically 20/20.
2. The relationship that lacks interest and/or empathy
At the start of any relationship, two people choose to pursue one another because they’re interested in what the person has to offer: talents, appearance, ambitions, etc. Shared interests and hobbies, in addition to actually being interested in one another, help to forge a deep, lasting connection, and one in which both parties consider the other a friend. When couples stop being friends, as this Prevention article points out, the relationship can no longer grow. And furthermore, once one or both partners lose the ability to empathize, there’s little hope the relationship will last much longer.
3. The relationship in which certain subjects are off-limits
Being able to discuss everything with your partner is important, from minute details of your day to big-picture conversations about your future together. A person should be able to depend on his or her partner for sound advice, a listening ear, and as someone who’s invested, and cares about, his or her thoughts and concerns. If a person feels as though he or she needs to limit the kinds of topics that are brought up, consider this a red flag. A partner is meant to be just that: a partner; not someone around whom you feel the need to censor yourself.
4. The relationship that lacks trust
Trust is a biggie, there’s no doubt about that. If there’s no trust between two partners, there’s no way the relationship will survive, at least not in a healthy manner. Being honest and upfront with all matters a couple encounters is of the utmost importance.
5. The relationship in which one person is more emotionally invested than the other
It’s never a good feeling to love a person who doesn’t love you back, and when this happens, the relationship won’t last long. As New York City-based psychologist Kristin Davin describes as the power-imbalanced couple, she told The Huffington Post, “If you find that you’re always the one doing the [emotional] heavy lifting, it changes your relationship and the heavy lifter feels like the relationship is more work than it should be.” It’s imperative that couples realize the importance of being on the same level emotionally, so that each person is equally invested.
Source: Cheatsheet.com
