Love is hard to find. Some people wait years while others never find it at all. Once you’ve met someone you love, it may be tempting to hold on to them with everything you’ve got, but it’s important to remember that not every type of love leads to a happy, healthy relationship. Love should make you the best version of yourself. It should include more highs than lows. Unfortunately, more often than not, being in love can bring out your worst qualities, fears, and insecurities, especially when you’re intimate with someone who’s dealing with their own baggage.
One survey by YourTango found that 89% of people think that half or more of all people have toxic relationships in their lives. These toxic relationships can be hard to spot as often they come in pretty packages that seem wonderful on the outside but are full of issues and hurt under the surface. Not sure where your relationship falls on the spectrum? Skim through these top five relationships to avoid.
1. Passion overload
A romantic relationship would just be a close friendship without passion. This fiery quality plays an important role in love. It’s what makes you care so deeply, love like crazy, and do things you normally wouldn’t do. While passion is a necessary ingredient in a relationship, too much of it can quickly lead to a toxic, unhealthy relationship. Passion is pure emotion, so when there’s too much passion you may experience high levels of jealousy or big blow out fights. As any couple knows, jealousy and fighting is natural, but overly passionate relationships will experience these qualities to the point that they begin to take over and counteract any good in a relationship.
2. Convenient comfort
These relationships are like your favorite pair of sweatpants. They are familiar, comfortable, and make you feel warm and safe. Like a comfortable, convenient relationship that’s hard to leave, it can be hard to pull off those cozy, fleece-lined sweatpants and squeeze into a stiff pair of jeans. Single life can be rough, making that comfortable relationship all the more appealing. The problem is that comfort doesn’t equal happiness. These convenient relationships just hold you back from finding true happiness and love.
3. Overly controlled
It’s natural to care about someone and want what’s best for them, but it’s quite another thing to attempt to control their every move. Relationships that revolve around one person’s control over the other are dangerous. If you don’t feel free to be yourself, make your own choices, and decide things for yourself, you may be in an unhealthy, controlling relationship. Maintaining these relationships can hinder your personal growth and may even manipulate you into thinking you’re happy when you’re not.
4. Lies, lies, lies
Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship, so when a relationship is built on lies, it’s practically impossible to operate as a healthy, functioning couple. Lying may seem harmless at first. Perhaps it’s just an omission of information or a small, white lie that you say to avoid hurting your partner’s feelings. However, no matter how small, lying is a slippery slope. It may seem harmless, but once you start, it becomes easier and easier to for the lies to slip out, harming a relationship built around them.
5. Being with the bully
Are you in a relationship where one person has significantly more power and control than the other person? If so, chances are high that you’re in an abusive relationship. Whether physically, mentally, or emotionally operated, bullies function by maintaining enough power that their partner is afraid to challenge them. This relationship runs on fear and fear is the opposite of love. If you find yourself in this exhausting, hurtful relationship, you’ll want to find a way out immediately.
Source: Cheatsheet.com