Buying gifts for new girlfriends can be tricky. But it’s the thought that counts, right? Well, as you’re well aware by now, women are all about the subtext. So in the beginning of a new relationship, while you might think you’re about to give us the greatest gift you could possibly find on the clearance rack, there’s a Pandora’s box of mixed messages that’s hidden under what you hand over to us.
So before you slap your credit card down when you you want to buy your new girlfriend a present, steer clear of misunderstandings by following our woman-approved list of what to avoid — and what you should spring for instead.
#1. JEWELRY
Too cheap and she’s insulted and thinks you don’t like us enough. Too expensive and she’s wondering if an engagement ring will be coming out with dessert. And that’s not even getting into the reality that a woman’s taste in jewelry is rather complex. You see pretty, we see gold, big, clunky, and totally not our style — which makes us think you don’t understand us at all. Read: Not the gift you want kicking off a new relationship.
GET THIS INSTEAD: A BOOK
No, really. I may be sentimental, but I’m not the only woman who says she’d feel incredibly psyched to get a book from a guy she was dating. I’m not talking the latest Dan Brown or Tucker Max, but a book that means a lot to you, complete with a thoughtful cover inscription, will go a long way with us.
#2. HOUSEWARE
Mugs aren’t sexy. Neither are plates, bowls, or pint glasses — especially if they’re stolen from your favorite bar. If she already has a pretty well-stocked cabinet, then anything else is a gift; it’s clutter she’ll feel guilted into using.
GET THIS INSTEAD: ELECTRONICS
This may be incredibly stereotypical, but in general, the women I know aren’t as focused on the nuances between, say, Beats by Dre earbuds and the random ones she picks up at the drug store. If you’re into tech stuff, show off your knowledge and buy something that’ll enhance her commute or her laptop.
#3. CLOTHES
The first thing most women will look at is the size, and unless you have a list of her size specification for a range of retailers (because they vary!) there are two major problems — No. 1: The size is likely going to be incorrect, and No. 2: This will cause her to wonder what your choice of size means about how you see her. Is a size small wishful thinking on your part? Does a size large mean you think she’s a zeppelin? There’s no way you can win on the size tag alone … and we won’t even get into all the style minefields you might step into. In other words, clothes are terrible gift ideas for newbies.
GET THIS INSTEAD: A FUN ACCESSORY
Accessories are all right — especially if they’re jokey or fun. For example, a guy I dated once gave me a trucker hat from a NASCAR race. I’m not into NASCAR, but I wear the hat all the time. To me, the gift was less an “I saw this and thought it would be perfect for you” gift than a momento that showed he was thinking of me, which I thought was sweet.
#4. A WORKOUT GIFT CARD
She loves Spin class, so you think you’re doing her a favor when you buy her a five-class card to a new cycling studio … but she may read it as you thinking she needs encouragement to go to the gym more often. If she thinks you think she’s fat taking her clothes off isn’t going to be as fun for her.
GET THIS INSTEAD: A MESSAGE GIFT CERTIFICATE
We will never, ever turn down a massage. Ever. Trust us.
#5. ANY GIFT CARD, ACTUALLY
Yes, we just said that you can give a massage gift certificate, but that’s an exception to an otherwise ironclad rule. Even if it’s to her favorite store, when it’s early in the dating game—say six months or less—it almost feels like you’re just being given money. Which feels weird. You may think it’s thoughtful, because it’s giving her the chance to pick out what she wants, but it makes us feel like you don’t care.
GET THIS INSTEAD: A GIFT VOUCHER FOR TWO
We’re hang out with you because we love doing stuff with you. And if we want solo time, you’ll know it. So if you’re stumped on a gift to get your new girlfriend, look for an an experience you can both enjoy together. Wine tasting classes, cooking classes, a hot air balloon ride … those are all things we used to imagine doing with a guy when we were single. Now that we’re coupled up, show you’re willing to indulge us by making one of these events happen.
Source: ModernMan
