No romantic gesture is a sure thing.
She may not want roses because they remind her of an ex. She may not want candy because she fears it’ll make her fat. She may not want red-carpet worthy jewelry because … okay, that is a sure thing.
There are also some romantic gestures that sound good on paper but are actually almost always a bad idea. These, you want to avoid. Because as surely as the right gesture can earn you awesome rewards, the wrong one will kill the mood — or kill the entire relationship.
So in the interest of making sure you don’t screw up royally, we’ve compiled a list of seemingly solid romantic gestures that will backfire on you — and some far better alternatives to try instead.
Proposing To Her On a JumboTron
There are two scenarios in which proposing on the JumboTron is okay. One, if you’re the first guy to ever do it — but that title has been claimed. Two, if you’re the small forward for the Los Angeles Lakers and she’s the captain of the Laker Girls. If you’re anyone else, it’s just a cheap attention grab. Besides, it’s your engagement. She has probably been envisioning this moment most of her life — do you think she wants mascots and drunk superfans to be a part of it?
Instead, do this: Make sure your proposal technique combines your mutual interests and history as a couple. Do you both love hiking? Then propose while you’re doing one of your favorite hikes together. On your first date, did you talk about how much you’d both always wanted to see Vancouver? Then surprise her with a couple of long-weekend plane tickets and propose there.
Giving Her a Homemade Coupon For a Free Backrub
You may be under the misguided impression that the homemade coupon routine is adorable, but it’s not — it’s an unimpressive move that’s strictly for amateurs. Sure, it may fool some women at first, but eventually they figure out that all you did was scribble something on a piece of paper, hand it to her, and call it a gift. How lazy are you?
Instead, do this: Make something for her — as long as you’re actually good at making it. If you’re a good carpenter and you make her a jewelry box or you’re an amateur painter and you whip up a work of art, you’ll score points like nobody’s business. If you’re not good at making anything other than a mess, leave it to the pros and buy her something.
Buying Her a Gift She Needs
No matter how badly she requires a vacuum cleaner, and no matter how meticulously you read Consumer Reports and other user reviews to find the perfect one, and no matter how much you spend on the Dyson DC-25 Blueprint Limited Edition — that’d be $530 — you’re still buying her a vacuum cleaner, and that will make her kind of sad.
Instead, do this: Send her something at work. Even if the FedEx bill costs more than the gift, she’ll love that you got her a gift for no reason — and that you did it in a way that brightened her workday and allowed her to open it in front of her coworkers.
Basing a MMORPG Character On Her
It’s nice that you want to invite her into your world — but it’d be even nicer if it were your real world. Yes, we know, the members of your World of Warcraft party are brothers in blood to you, but unless your lady is herself a slayer of dragons, a seeker of gold, and a sufferer of Carpal tunnel syndrome, the roadmap you’re providing to your heart shouldn’t detour through a ghoul marsh.
Instead, do this: Make a music mix for her with songs that mean something to you, or buy her a copy of your favorite book. Gestures like that show her you want her to know who you are — not who your blood-elf paladin avatar is.
Buying Her Equipment For The Sport You Love
You’re on the right track trying to share something you enjoy with her. But her already tenuous interest in lacrosse will totally disappear the first time you bean her in the face with a no-look pass.
Instead, do this: Take lessons with her. Research shows that couples who routinely try new things together are happier. So whether you arrange for the two of you to try rock climbing, or surfing, et al you’ll impress her and do wonders for your relationship.
Source: ModernMan