The first step, of this guide is to understand the biggest mistakes that people make after a breakup and AVOID THEM. Doing these mistakes will not only drive your ex further away. They will also make you feel rejected and unworthy
#1 Being Needy and Begging
It’s one of the most common reactions to the breakup. If someone has decided to breakup with you, begging is not going to change their mind. Begging and pleading makes you look like a needy person. And that is unattractive, very unattractive. Do you think they want to breakup because they want you to beg them to take them back? Nobody wants to be with a needy person. And even if your begging worked, it’s going to lead to a relationship where you will end up being a doormat.
#2 The Doormat Syndrome
It comes right after begging and pleading; accepting everything while throwing your self-worth away in the trashcan (aka Doormat Syndrome). You agree everything your ex wants without even considering your happiness.
You put your self-worth, your happiness, your dreams and your entire life on the back burner just so you could be with your ex. Sometimes, people do it just to hold on to the possibility of being with their ex in the future. It’s a direct consequence of begging and pleading. It makes your ex think “Well, if you are that desperate to be with me, then you must accept everything that I want.” In most cases, if you agree to be a doormat, your ex will keep you around to satisfy their emotional or sexual needs, but they won’t commit to you. If they do commit to you, it will probably be an unhappy, smothering or even abusive relationship. And you know what happens to a relationship where one person is a doormat? They end. Sooner or later they all end. If you want to get your ex back and give it a real chance, please do not become doormat.
#3 Using Pity To Get Your Ex Back
Do you post sad facebook status messages all day? Do you hope that your ex will see them and come back to you? Whenever your ex calls, do you tell them how much you miss them and how much lonely you are without them? Do you think your ex will take you back because of pity? First of all getting back together with your ex because you are lonely is not a good idea. What you are experiencing is just one of the symptoms of breakup. Everyone feels like this. And it doesn’t last forever. Secondly, acting like this is only going to make your ex less attracted to you. And even if they do feel pity for you, they are not going to get back together because of it. No one wants to be with a sad person. If you want to get your ex back, you will have to learn to be happy. If nothing else, at least act like you are not miserable.
#4 Being Friends with Your Ex
If you think that by being friends with your ex, you can stay in their lives and hopefully get back together again, you are just plain wrong. By being friends you are not giving yourself and your ex enough time and space to heal. Not to mention, you will probably end up getting friendzoned by your ex. You could end up listening to your ex complaining about their new lovers (cue : Ex-girlfriends) or they might propose being friends with benefits (cue: Ex-boyfriends).
#5 Panicking when your ex starts dating
Breakup is hard as it is, especially if you are still obsessing over your ex and wondering all the time whether or not they miss you. On top of that, if your ex starts dating someone else, it’s almost feels like someone punched you really hard in your stomach (while wearing a wolverine claw). Nothing can prepare you for this feeling. But it happens. And no, it’s nothing to worry about.
The fact is, if your ex starts dating someone else soon after a breakup, then it’s definitely arebound relationship. And rebound relationships never last. In fact, it just means that after you broke up, your ex had a huge hole in their life that they are trying to fill with someone new. In many cases, they rush into it too soon and things get too serious really fast. There is nothing to worry about as the faster it moves, the faster it will end.
In almost all the cases of rebound relationship, people soon realize that this new relationship isn’t right for them and end it. So, even if your ex starts dating someone new, do not freak out. It’s just a rebound relationship and it will end soon.
source: unbreakup.org
