Great s*x is all about attitude, a bad attitude is NOT welcome! But we also know that certain behaviours are definitely deal breakers!
If any of these bedroom behaviours seem all too familiar, it’s time to seek out s*xual nirvana with a more willing, creative, and caring partner. Here are five bedroom deal breakers. You’ll notice none of them relate to technique or confidence (which any ambitious lover can learn).
Deal Breaker #1: Not Willing to Communicate
Sure, with practice we can master s*xual techniques. But truly happy couples all have one important thing in common: a willingness to communicate, learn and grow together. If your partner is unwilling to talk about s*x, your s*x life will never be truly happy and satisfying in the long term.
Yes, talking about s*x feels awkward at first, but if you can’t get over that initial hump (pun intended) and honestly communicate about your needs, likes, desires and about what can be improved, then you’ll never grow together as an er*tic partnership.
That’s why unwillingness to communicate is the ultimate deal breaker in the bedroom.
Deal Breaker #2: Lack of Curiosity
se*uality is one of the most creative arenas of life. A great s*xual relationship thrives on novelty, adventure and a willingness to explore and try new things. This doesn’t mean you have to swing from the chandelier, but it does mean having a spirit of curiosity about s*x.
If your lover is only willing to have one kind of s*x over and over again, you can count the days until your s*x life perishes from boredom. We often hear from couples who love listening to our podcast together in order to prompt conversation and exploration together.
Deal Breaker #3: Selfish s*x
A great s*x life is all about sharing: sharing touch, sharing pleasure and sharing intimacy. Like giving gifts, there is pleasure in both giving and receiving in bed. Sometimes it is great to relax and receive touch, and other times it’s a joy to lavish your spouse in sensation. You don’t need a scoreboard above your bed, but reciprocity is key to a happy relationship and fulfilling s*x life.
Deal Breaker #4: Shame On You
Shame is one of the most toxic emotions that prevents us from fully enjoying s*x. If your partner makes you feel ashamed or guilty, seek higher ground immediately. Being shamed from within your own relationship is one of the fastest ways to kill your libido and create resentment.
Shame comes in many flavors, from body shaming to desire shaming. If your lover makes you feel bad about who you are, what you look like or what you find desirable, ask them to be more supportive. If they can’t or won’t change, you need to leave.
Deal Breaker #5: Overstepping Boundaries
You are in charge of your own body and what happens in bed. Not in the mood for oral and say so? Then he shouldn’t pressure you to perform. Love dirty talk but hate certain words? Your lover must respect that. If they willingly overstep clearly set boundaries, you’ll never feel totally safe.
Boundaries are important in and out of the bedroom. A great partner will respect your boundaries (and understand that they will change over time), making ongoing communication essential in any relationship.
Source: YourTango