The dating game is called a game for a reason. It involves two people, who are playing a game which will either result in them playing on the same team, or in different ones. Whether we admit it or not, we all have a certain game plan or strategy with which we approach the field, and very often the chosen strategy for women is playing “hard to get”.
This is where you treat your opponent like a donkey, you dangle the carrot, and when he is about to bite, you run away until he catches up, and then you dangle it again, and he chases again.
This game plan can work beautifully in your favour, or end with you feeling like the donkey without any carrot at all! So here are some things to think about when you are getting your game on:
1. Keep it simple
Playing hard to get will result in game-over if you over-complicate, over-think, or over-analyse it. You should only be playing this game if your opponent is relatively new on the scene, and so remember that he doesn’t really deserve too much of your thought space just yet.
If you hear from him, you will choose your appropriate response at the time. If you don’t, you may want to do some carrot dangling, or call it quits. Playing hard to get does not mean ignoring what you feel, so go with your gut. If you are not feeling great about things, it is probably a sign to walk away, and if you have butterflies, and find yourself dancing in the shower more than normal, then keep playing. It is that simple.
2. Engage the hunter
Men are hunters; they like the chase, and the challenge of it. If the prey is too easy to acquire, there is no chase, there is no challenge, and as such, there is no hunt. The purpose of this carrot-dangling approach is to engage with your opponent’s inner caveman hunter. You do this by:
Not being readily available at his every whim. It is important that you show him you have a life, and a full, fulfilling one at that. Don’t drop things for him, change plans for him or go too far out of your way for him (especially not in the initial phases).
Going out of sight from time to time, so that he can search a little, but at the same time, not going out of sight completely. Sometimes a reply to a message a few hours later than it was received isn’t a bad thing. Let him wonder a little.
Leaving your scent for him to follow. The idea is to give him hints that will guide the hunt for his treasure. Remember though that men are direct creatures and subtle hints don’t work, so sometimes you have to make your hints quite damn obvious. Be around, mention where you may be a little later, be fun and be authentic when engaging with him.
Be a little mysterious. The mystery is all part of the hunt. He can’t have his prey figured out in one go, leave some things to be discovered.
3. Make the hunt rewarding
This “hard to get” game is rewarding for both parties. For one, if your opponent keeps chasing, he shows his commitment and perseverance, which are all signs of a keeper. It is rewarding for him, because he loves the hunt, and then when he finally catches his prey, he somehow appreciates it that much more because of how hard he has worked to get it.
Remember that you can’t make the hunt impossible though; at some point, you need to reward him for a good chase, and stop running. If you keep running too long, he will lose his appetite, assume you’re not interested, and move right along.
4. Make it fun (it’s supposed to be!)
Its all supposed to be fun, and when it isn’t, stop doing it. The game serves a simple purpose: to figure out if your opponent is worth having on your team or not. He is either going to prove his worthiness, or he isn’t.
Through the game you will learn some things, make some mental notes of characteristics (good or bad) that you should look out for in future opponents, have some giggles, experience some things. Have fun with it, and don’t take it too seriously, because, in the bigger picture, it doesn’t really matter. If this one doesn’t work out, “NEXT!”.
Source: All4women.co.za
