Though experts in the field are divided as to whether or not sex addiction should be classified as an actual disease, there is definitely evidence to suggest that the symptoms and behaviors are real — and not just in the famous. So what behaviors signify that you may be treading the path of a sex addict? What do things like paying for sex and a strong appetite for pornography say about you?
“Men pay for sex because it feeds their narcissistic ego by giving them a sense of power and control,” says Paul Hokemeyer, JD, Ph.D., a marriage and family therapist in New York City. “At the heart of narcissism is a terror of connecting to another human being from a place of vulnerability and true intimacy. Somewhere in their past people who have narcissistic personality traits (an exaggerated sense of self importance, self preoccupation and lack of empathy for others) were emotionally hurt.”
Symptoms of Sex Addiction
While the experts debate there is criteria for compulsive sexual behavior, the symptoms include:
– Sexual impulses which are intense and appear beyond your control
– Using compulsive sexual behavior(s) to escape other problems such as depression, anxiety, stress and/or loneliness
– Having trouble establishing or maintaining close, intimate relationships, even if you’re married or in a committed relationship
But just because you engage in raunchy talk or visit strip clubs, however, doesn’t mean you have an obsession with sex. For some men a trip to a ‘gentleman’s club’ or talking sex with their guy friends is merely a defense mechanism, according to Dr. Hokemeyer. “I find that men visit topless bars in large measure out of peer pressure and to be ‘one of the boys.’ Rarely do I see patients visit these bars alone,” he says.
Nor does sex addiction always equate to a high sex drive. Some experts believe that sex addicts get more satisfaction from the psychological triggers rather than the physiological pleasures of sex itself. “Typically the sex act itself is secondary to the hunt for sex, the ‘closing of the deal,’ and the feelings of either guilt, shame, or elation that occur after the person achieves orgasm,” explains Hokemeyer.
Source: GalTime
