1. 1987: “How’d you two meet?” “I saw her at a bar one night and went up to say hello. Been together ever since!”
2016: “How’d you two meet?” “I swiped right on his Tinder picture at a bar one night. Been together ever since!”
2. That sense of hopeful possibility when you saw a blinking answering machine light is gone forever, replaced by the somehow more anxiety-producing three-dot “he’s texting” notification.
3. Movies used to be a cheap date. Now, if you want dinner and have to pay the sitter, you may need to call and get your credit limit raised.
4. When you broke up back then, “we can still be friends” had no reference to Facebook.
5. Photos posted on dating sites are actually slightly less reliable than squinting at someone in a dark bar after a couple of drinks.
6. You no longer wear matching jean jackets (yours: bedazzled, his: plain) to the movie theater and split a giant popcorn on your first date. But now you can wear matching SoulCycle tees while streaming Netflix and sharing ordered-in sushi. That’s sort of the same thing, right?
7. If a guy was interested, he called you on a landline to talk and ask you out on a date. Now, if a guy is interested, he drunk texts you on a Friday night. (Sad, but true.)
8. If only you could still throw your frizzy hair up into a scrunchy for a date, and have it be totally hot. If only.
9. After breaking up, you could be totally busted for your stalking tendencies if he caught you driving by his house in your best friend’s car. Now, you can be safe in your rage at his new life, thanks to social media.
10. The John Cusack days of holding a boom box outside your window are over. Because holding up a tiny pink Beats Pill stereo just doesn’t have the same effect.
11. The box full of love letters underneath your bed is now the texts you will never delete, even when your storage gets crazy full.
12. Take heart: You would never have met your wonderful husband back in the 90s, because his social media personality? Kinda dweeby.
13. First dates no longer exist. After checking out Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, you’re at date number three by the time you actually meet.
14. The biggest obstacle in your relationship is having no Wi-Fi connection.
15. Then: Receiving a mixtape was a sign that someone was really into you. Now: If he likes your new profile picture on Facebook, it means you two are basically married.
Source: Redbookmag.com
