Pregnancy is an exciting time – you are creating a new life inside your body which is pretty blinking amazing.
Your tummy is obviously growing and you are probably noticing that other bits are blooming too.
Specifically your boobies.
They are soon going to be doing what they were created for – no, not attracting the attention of the person you fancy but feeding a baby.
Here are the 15 things nobody tells you about your boobs after you have a child.
1. They become public property
Everyone from your mum to the elderly lady in the supermarket queue has an opinion on your breasts and, in particular, breastfeeding.
Prepare to get unsolicited comments and advice from all and sundry.
2. They change shape, sometimes drastically
You will look down and wonder whose boobs you are wearing because they won’t resemble the pair you had before baby came along.
3. Pads
You may be used to wearing pads in your knickers but get ready to wear them in your bra too. If they pop out just pretend you were using them to remove your make up.
4. They won’t strictly be the same size as the other anymore
One could be the size of a grapefruit, the other a satsuma.
5. Exposure
Babies need feeding and they don’t care where – busy coffee shops, on trains, in shops. If they are not feeding their little hands tend to tug on the front of your top leading to unexpected nip slips.
6. Fried eggs
Rather than pointing skywards, they now slip to the side when you lie on your back.
7. Mastitis
Most women would rather give birth again naturally than go through mastitis (inflamation of breast tissue). And the fact you have to continue feeding to get better is just monstrous.
8. Old bras become torture devices
Those beautiful (and expensive) Agent Provocateur sets will no longer be the tools of seduction but tools of torture as wires dig in, straps are too tight and cups give you four boobs. At least you can go shopping for more.
9. Golf balls in socks, Spaniels ears etc etc
Yes, they will start heading south a bit more once you finish feeding but a good bra (and a good bra fitter) will hold you in good stead.
10. Cabbage leaves become acceptable boob garments
No, a new mum isn’t sleep deprived and going bonkers if you see the edges of a cabbage leaf poking out of her bra. Chances are her boobs are engorged and they are relieving the pain.
11. They will become a beacon for some men’s eyes
Even though I was pushing a newborn in a pram my ‘new boobs’ drew wolf whistles when I passed a group of workmen. Super uncomfortable.
12. Nipple directions
One may now point east, the other west.
13. They will feel like rocks. Big, painful rocks
And your nipples will also be super sensitive a few days after birth
14. Tiger stripes
Don’t be surprised to find that, like your tummy, you may get stretch marks on your boobies too. Bio-oil is your friend.
15. They are sustaining a life
Whatever they look like, be proud. They have changed shape because you have made a little person. Your breasts are giving a newborn all the nutrients it needs to survive and that is pretty incredible. Yay for boobies!
Source: Metro
