Relationships usually begin with high hopes and bright expectations. The key is not to waste precious time hanging onto one that is bringing up more and more question marks.
Here are signs that you’re sticking with a dead-end relationship, and it might be time to move on:
• You have more confusion than clarity: Time should bring important insights into your relationship, so it’s a red flag if you are more confused now than you were weeks or months ago.
• Initial attraction hasn’t led to a lasting bond: Being attracted to external qualities—a nice smile, a quick wit, a confident demeanour—can hold a couple together for only so long.
A romance that flames out quickly might be due to a strong physical attraction with little else to feed it.
• Your desire for “space” is increasing: Everyone needs individual time—that’s normal and natural. But if “me time” has become much more appealing than “us time,” consider this a clear warning sign.
• You work hard to improve the relationship, but the other person is not making the same effort: A healthy union needs two people who both carry their weight and invest equally in the partnership.
• Time has revealed a mismatch in your values and beliefs: Be realistic about whether your respective lives and desires are pointing you in the same direction, or whether impossible compromises lie ahead.
• You don’t share the same level of motivation and ambition: Whether these include career advancement, further education, or personal development, each partner should have clearly defined objectives and a plan to attain them.
• You’ve noticed incidents of dishonesty and deception: Lies destroy a crucial component of any relationship: trust. The presence of lies and the absence of trust spell trouble.
• One person is clingy and dependent: Few relationships are able to survive extreme jealousy, possessiveness, overdependence, or controlling behaviour.
Such actions and attitudes indicate that one or both people lack a solid emotional foundation.
• Your partner is unrealistic about what is needed for long-term success: In a healthy relationship, the individuals acknowledge that nobody is perfect and there will surely be problems to address.
Every relationship will require hard work and perseverance.
• It’s become obvious that your career and financial goals are not in sync: Ask yourselves how you envision your standard of living, income, and vocational progress into the future.
• You have put your own needs and ambitions on hold to concentrate more on your lover’s: This kind of imbalance will eventually leave you feeling resentful. A healthy relationship requires equality, with both individuals feeling valued.
• More and more you wonder if there’s someone better suited for you: It’s normal to have occasional doubts and questions about the long-term prospects of your partnership, but don’t ignore the warning signs if those thoughts become increasingly frequent.
• You don’t feel like you can be “completely yourself” with this person: Trying to change or conceal your true self is a big tip that this isn’t a good match.
• You’re feeling an acute sense of “time urgency”: Regardless of your age, you’ve begun to think that the time you’re spending in this relationship could be better spent exploring other (better) possibilities.
• As you look ahead, the vision of your future together is fuzzy: You should be able to envision your relationship five, ten, 20 years ahead with joy and clarity.
Source: eHarmony
