You’ve seen it before: a great couple with seemingly no problems calling it quits without a clear reason why. That’s because it’s a mash-up of small things that amounted to them falling slowly out of love. Almost always, one person in the two-person relationship is the last to know. Psssst: It’s usually the guy. With everything else on your plate like work, social obligations, and football season, it’s really easy to fall into a pattern and treat her like some ol’ pal you have sex with once or twice a week.
If you’re in a long-term relationship, are you doing everything you can to satisfy her basic needs? Are you taking some things for granted? Are you noticing her enough? Below are some obvious and not-so-obvious things you should be noticing about her to keep her from leaving you from another dude just because he showed more interest.
1) The stuff that “magically appears” in your house
There’s a reason why people always tell bachelors they need “a woman’s touch.” It’s not because they smell something bad when they walk in… well, sometimes it is, but usually it’s because there is a lack of evidence that shows you’re taking care of yourself.
Have you noticed those touches and told her? It might seem like frivolous details to you, but it’s one of her ways of showing she cares about you. Does toothpaste “just show up”? Is there a blanket on the couch when you are hung over? Does it always smell nice? Stuff like that requires time, effort and often money on her part. Let her know you notice these details.
2) She already knows what you are going to say
Sometimes this can be annoying because it feels like there’s nothing new to talk about. But notice how she already knows the backstory, the nuances, the history, and the jokes. That means she cares enough to remember listen and remember.
How many times have you called a buddy to talk and you had to remind him of what you were even talking about? If she finishes your sentence or takes a guess at what you are going to say — acknowledge it. Don’t get annoyed by it. If it feels like she’s doing it way too much, well, you need more stories.
3) Always feeling good about your date to the important events
Do you feel confident when you walk into a room with her by your side? Does she keep up with the group when you all party with your college buddies? Do you know how to look out for each other while working a room? Don’t take that for granted. Tell her how you feel when the room lights up as you two arrive.
4) The little things she does to keep looking good
Is she up on the trends, going to yoga, and always smells like a sexy cookie? If you don’t notice all the little things she does to stay attractive, someone else will. No compliment can be heard too much. And never tell her she is too vain, too superficial, or whatever you’re saying in an attempt to make her hurry up in the bathroom. Do you really want a slovenly couch weight? Looking good doesn’t happen by accident.
5) You think about her in your future
This can be difficult to discuss because it might bring on “that conversation.” If you’re afraid that’s going to happen then you REALLY need to explain where she fits in. Think about what you want and notice what you like about the present. What do you not want to change between the two of you? Tell her. Then explain your imagined future together.
6) Her new complaints versus old complaints
If she complains about something, ask her if it’s something she’s been noticing for a while or if it’s just this week. On the surface, it could be a small inconvenience, but when you dig a little further you might realize that there’s so much more going on. Those issues fester and can destroy relationships. Don’t be afraid to notice, acknowledge, and adjust. If you know it’s an old complaint and it’s valid — fix it.
7) The times you enjoy her family
When you don’t hate hanging with her family, make sure she knows. Think about who’s fun to hang out with on her side and suggest things for all of you to do together. Don’t always wait until she says, “We have to go to this event.” Her family is important to her, and if you take that seriously, it’ll make a difference.
8) The things she does only because you like them
Was she a football fan when you met her? If not, and she watches games with you now, there’s a chance she learned to like it — but there’s also a good chance she’s only doing it because she wants to be there with you. Think about your interests that have also become “her interests” and make a point to let her know how much you like doing them with her. And then considering maybe making some of her interests “your” interests.
9) She’s regularly envious of others
Envy is a hell of an emotion. The grass is always greener, blah, blah, blah… It’s something everyone feels from time to time, but you should be noticing if there are common things that make her feel that way on a regular basis. Is she envious of any of her girlfriend’s men or of single pals? What is it that they are doing that she thinks is so great? Yup, that’s probably what you need to be doing together right now.
10) She gets quiet-mad when you’re alone
Think about if the following scenario sounds familiar. You and your girlfriend are out with friends or family and she’s happy and talkative. When you leave to go home, suddenly she grows moody and quiet. You ask her what’s wrong, but she says it’s nothing.
If that happens on a semi-regular basis, it’s not “nothing.” That’s a huge neon sign that reads, “Your next ex.” She’s unhappy in the relationship and might be considering leaving you. Review the previous nine items in this list and really make sure you’re doing all of them. If that doesn’t work, start asking her friends if you’ve done something — don’t just ignore it and hope she gets better.
Source: Askmen.com