Nothing like a ~hot evening~ when you and your partner crawl into bed, and he picks up his phone and browses the Internet for awhile while your mind starts racing…..why is there laundry piled up in the corner?! The clothes are sticking out of drawers!! When was the last time we changed these sheets?!?! Sexy, indeed. Slash…not at all.
Chances are, if that was your evening, you probably conked out and went right to bed without getting laid. Blame the position of the moon or your horoscope, but know this: Your bedroom can totally cramp your sex style and kill off sexy vibes as if your horniness was a guest at the Red Wedding. Here are some of the biggest culprits that might be in your bedroom right now.
1. Your Phone
Aside from the fact that ditching your phone (and other tech) before bed is one of the quintessential rules of falling asleep (and I wonder why I’m tired all the time…), keeping your phone nearby can wreak havoc on your sex life, says Jane Greer, a relationship therapist and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship. “It’s important to be focused on your partner and give them attention, not be glued to texting or Facebook in the bedroom,” she says.
So….yeah. Those late night work emails that don’t need to be sent right at that exact moment? They can wait ’til the morning. To that end, so can videos of baby giraffes cuddling.
2. The TV
Love watching TV in bed with your partner and then falling asleep right after? You might want to keep your binge sessions limited to the living room — that is, if you want to give your sex life a boost.
Couples who don’t have TVs in their bedrooms versus those that do —surprise —have more sex, says Megan Fleming, Ph.D. So maybe consider giving your TV the boot?
3. Your Dirty Sheets
This should go without saying, but if your bedroom is nasty AF, it’s not exactly translating to “mindblowing orgasm den” — especially considering how so much of orgasming is linked to relaxation. And, I don’t know about you, but the sheer number of germs that can live in your sheets when you go too long without washing them doesn’t exactly make for a a sexy atmosphere. To that end, Fleming says changing your sheets regularly — especially if one of you have been sick — is important. Two thumbs up for hygiene.
4. That Pile of Clutter
If your room is covered in clutter, it’s probably not screaming “SEX!!!” The last thing you want to be reminded of when you’re in a sex session is your college boyfriend’s filthy room with video games and dirty laundry all over the floor.
“It’s hard to be in the mood when your surroundings are a mess. It’s distracting and gets in the way of allowing the best to unfold,” says Laura Benko, a holistic design expert and author of The Holistic Home. (Who knew decluttering could be inadvertent foreplay!?)
5. The Color of Your Walls
A survey done by British retailer Littlewoods noted that out of 2,000 people polled, people with grey rooms had the least amount of sex (people with purple rooms, on the other hand, were killin’ it, metaphorically speaking). Fleming, however, stressed that people’s turn-ons when it comes to colors vary.
6. If You Have Anything From Your Ex In Your Room
Hopefully, you did a major haul of stuff from your ex in your bedroom before you shacked up with your new guy, but, let’s say you didn’t — it’s time to purge. “It goes without saying that having any remnants of a previous relationship in the bedroom is a bad idea, but you’d be surprised how many people have this going on,” says Benko. “I had a client who had a large picture of her ex under her bed and was struggling through the same, similar patterns in her new relationship. When I explained the significance and suggested she get rid of the picture, she said she ‘wanted to keep the frame so she could use it for a picture of her and her new boyfriend.’ She was literally keeping the ‘framework’ from one bad relationship to another. It is quite common for deep rooted issues to subconsciously show up in your space. When you end a relationship, get rid of the reminders so you can start fresh in your new one.”
7. Nasty Smells
For most people, the smells of stale body odor, pizza, and dust aren’t turn ons (if they are, who am I to judge your fetish?). But as a general rule: The smellier the room, the less likely you’re going to have sex.
“Bad smells are a sex [saboteur] for sure,” Benko says. “A scented candle, an essential oil diffuser or your own perfume spritzed on sheets is the answer. You can also use essential oil blends that subconsciously induce euphoria, confidence, and relaxation, like The Holistic Home Company‘s sensual aromatherapy face and space spray or their sensual body and massage oil. The scent is a clean, luxurious pure aphrodisiac.”
8. The Wrong Things On Your Dresser
You know the feeling when you’re giving a guy a blow job and then come up for air and suddenly a see a photo of his mom on his dresser? Hopefully, you don’t, but if you do, you’ll know that family photos in the bedroom can make you go from wet to the Arizona desert in seconds, flat. To that end, if you keep a list of what to do on your nightstand, you’ll probably be thinking about all of the laundry you have to fold and the stuff you have to pick up at the pharmacy instead of the penis that was formerly in your mouth (LOL — remember? Oh, you forgot because the photo of his mom).
“Closely examine what you have on your nightstand. Is it a To-Do list? A stack of books you haven’t read? Your charging cell phone? A picture of your family? All of these items deplete sexual energy between you and your partner and take you out of the moment. Ideally, you want to surround yourself with items that can help induce intimacy and create a loving, positive atmosphere,” Benko says. “The bedroom should be an oasis for sleep or sex only. “
9. Artwork That’s Unsexy
About drying out like the desert: “Instead of boring landscapes, swap art out for imagery that pleases the senses and awakens your sensuality,” Benko suggests.
10. Fluorescent Lighting
“It’s horrible for everyone. Change out all bulbs for incandescent and install a dimmer,” Benko says.
Of course, what you like is subjective, so it’s important to let your partner know what sort of ~environment~ you like the bedroom to be. (Or just overhaul the whole room without asking! Kidding! Sort of.)
Source: Redbookmag.com