By Moses Abeka
Not in the next moon or the next market day will Kyambogo University make a sex tape. Not even after the next total solar eclipse!
What the hell?
While UCU, MUBS, KIU and the rest are showcasing their filming skills, portraying how we can beat Nollywood without oil money, Kyambogo will not release a sex tape. Despite the on going strike, now in its third week, the devil that raided UCU has failed to rape the minds of the idle Kyambogo students taking porridge in their hostels. The devil has failed to set his workshop despite that fact!
“What the hell,” the devil asked himself.
Presenting to you dear readers, ten reasons why Kyambogo will not join the sex tape race.
1.COPYRIGHT LAW
The students demand that copyright law be enforced before displaying their artistic bedroom skills. They are known for demanding for their rights. They have ever made strike demanding for better posho and beans and bread for breakfast. No copyright law, no sex tape.
“I can’t exhibit an Oscar award winning performance just to make people’s phones swell with happiness! NEVER!” one would be sex taper cried out.
2.STRIKES
Jumping over fences, running battles with police; strikes have drained energy out the waists of these boys! Teargas has drained any sense of aesthetics. They can’t see beauty even in themselves!
3. CAMERA SHY
”If the light is not off, the game is off,” that is the cardinal bedroom law in Kyambogo. These UMEME loving guys would only act a sex tape if it is to be filmed in darkness so that you just imagine what is taking place. Even on facebook, they use applications like Sketchguru to edit and upload photos.
4. KKL
Forget about the Kampala Kids League, welcome to Kyambogo Kids League, where campus boys have lovers in neighbouring secondary schools and campus girls have boyfriends sitting for UNEB. Table leaders in this league host their high school lovers on the weekends since the only chance for playing the games gives them a home advantage. With the state of affairs, and transfers only happening after moving from one school to another, sex tape is not one the goals we see being scored!
5.BOOKS
Kyambogo lectures set very hard papers! Most students are trapped spreading books wide open every night instead of legs! It is believed that one diploma in Kyambogo is equivalent to three KIU degrees.
6.WHAT THE HELL? WHAT THE HELL?
A jilted lover recently poured secrets of his Kyambogo girl friend. These girls rarely make it nasty! “My babe did not show me her nakedness. She would lay on the bed, pull her skirt upwards and the knickers slightly downwards and say, ”Do you see the eclipse, I have shown you a portion. Enter and eat,” he confessed.
We are yet to confirm whether he was a KKL veteran killer that got relegated to lower division of the jilted and searching.
7.DO YOU REALLY NEED TEN REASONS? what the hell! These will do!
CONTACT THE WRITER
FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/moses.abeka24
EMAIL: moses24seven@gmail.com
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