Whether you’re into guys, gals or anyone in between, the oddest things often occur during sex. Think about it: you’re half or fully naked and juices are flowing. It’s bound to get messy.
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The most awkward time, however, is usually after the act. You lie there and don’t know what to do or say — especially if the sex was less than stellar. Some after-sex-moments are so bizarre that they belong in a circus. Like some of these odd things guys said to women after getting freaky:
1. “Do you want to meet my mom?” That’s what Karen, 25, heard after the guy she dated climbed off of her. Dating for six months, it wasn’t a shocking thought. But the timing! “It would have been a sweet proposal if he didn’t talk about his mom seconds after he saw my orgasm face,” she said, “I mean, was he thinking of his mom the entire time?” Oh, Karen, I hope not.
2. *Looks at phone* “My ex just called.” The last thing a woman wants to hear after sex is about a woman the guy once banged. Unfortunately, Xiomara, 21, had that very experience. “We met at a bar and hooked up that night,” she began, “and I knew what it was — a one-night-stand. I wasn’t expecting anything more.” Still, she felt crappy when hearing about his ex right after sex. “I’m not really sensitive, but I have to admit it hurt,” the Dominican from Boston added. Of course it did. No matter what the relationship is, no one wants to be compared to an ex right after sex.
3. “That was so good … I may have to marry you.” Oh, this one is sweet! Still, when you’ve only been casually seeing a guy for two weeks, it’s awkward. “All of a sudden he said that and I freaked out,” Charlene, 25, said, “like we hardly know each other!” Almost proposing right after sex is the equivalent of saying “I love you.” So Charlene threw on her clothes and exited the premises. “I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.”
4. “Sorry about all the farting.” It happens! But it’s an odd thing to mention after knocking boots. “I heard him fart a few times,” Jennifer, 30, admitted, “but it didn’t smell and I’m not that prissy, so I just kept at it.” Besides, the sex was amazing. “He could have farted a hundred times and I wouldn’t have stopped him,” she laughed. She sure wished he would’ve stopped talking about breaking wind after sex.
5. “I hope my parents didn’t hear us.” This one’s a doozy, especially when you don’t know the guy lives with his parents. “We walked into his apartment and he told me he had roommates,” Teresa, 32, said. She thought nothing of it. “It’s New York City, everyone lives with someone.” After a heavy make out session, they ended up in his bedroom and did the deed. “The entire time, though, he told me not to make a lot of noise,” she remembered. Why? Because he lived with his parents and was afraid they would hear. “I was so embarrassed — and scared his mom and dad would barge in and see me there!” she said. She got out of there as soon as she knew of his living arrangements and promised herself to ask about “roommates” in the future.
6. “What was that smell? Speaking of odors during sex, one chica couldn’t help but wonder what reeked at her guy’s place. “It was a mix of dirty socks, old cheese and grajo,” Laura, 28, recalled. But she didn’t say a thing. “I tried to ignore it because I didn’t want to offend him.” What she didn’t expect was for him to say, “what was that smell?” once they finished. “If he didn’t know, how should I?!” The mysterious odor remains unsolved till this day.