“This never happens to me” is almost always a lie. Everyone has been in a bed with a boner that is just not cooperating at some point in their life. And that’s fine! Whether it’s a random off night or whiskey dick, failing to get or stay hard doesn’t have to turn into weird awkwardness. So stop freaking out, don’t blame yourself (it’s sooo not you), and just figure out a different way to have fun.
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1. The Silken Slide
Be ready for whatever his junk decides to do by sitting on his lap and leaning back, so your head is hanging down toward the ground. He rubs your clit with his fingers and teases you with his penis — regardless of hardness. If his penis happens to gets into it, he can start jerking himself off too, or pull you up on his lap for seated cowgirl-style sex. Or not. Worst case scenario: you are still getting off.
2. The Wake Up Curl
Take advantage of morning wood and his higher levels of testosterone with morning sex. Stick to basics—the more you switch positions, the higher chances of failure getting it back in. A side position is great— it shields morning breath, plus he can hold onto his dick for a tighter feel, giving himself extra strokes as needed. Curl forward so you can reach down and gently cup his balls for extra oomph.
3. The Couch Face Off
If nerves or anxiety are factors in his boner troubles, tell him that vaginal intercourse is off limits all night. Tease the hell out of him as you please — a long shower with sexy soapy hands, back rub, whatever. The end game is leading him to the couch so you’re facing each other naked for a mutual wank. It’s hot to watch each other and super low pressure —100% of dudes consider themselves expert masturbators. (Practice makes perfect and all that.)
4. The Pointer Dog
If a hard on is coming and going, try doggie style with your legs spread extra wide. If he loses his erection, there are options. He can pull out to stroke himself or he can continue thrusting with his finger on the underside of his penis acting as kind of a splint. If it’s still just not happening, have him hold his well-lubed penis against you and keep thrusting — a soft peen trailing across your clit can feel amaaaaazing.
5. Squat and Squeeze It
There’s also the option of breaking out some accessories. First, he slips a cock ring around the base of his penis (even better: a vibrating one for you.) The ring should keep him engorged long enough for a decent toss, but he shouldn’t keep it on for over 30 minutes. Get on top, leaning down on your elbows so you can press yourself against the vibrations.