If you’re a man who finds approaching women a challenge, you’re in good company. Many men struggle when it comes to approaching a woman. While sitting in a lounge or coffee shop, an attractive woman makes eye contact and smiles. Although she seems friendly, you hesitate, your mind wanders in a variety of directions (playing out worst case scenarios of utter humiliation) as you decide on your best approach. In the meantime, the schmuck sitting two seats down suavely strikes up a conversation with her. The rest, as they say, is history.
A similar situation is bound to happen again. Rather than wait for the frustration of another lost opportunity, it’s important to recognise what mistakes you’re likely making and figure out how to rectify them. Here are three common errors men make when approaching women, and how you can avoid making them.
Chances are, the women you’re meeting aren’t living the lives of superheroes. Rather, they are drudging through stressful jobs and longing for adventure. This is where you come in. You can be the spark she’s seeking. How? Convey it through your conversation and body language.
Ask her open-ended questions about her opinion, use humour, or say something completely unexpected.
Whatever you do, shake off any sense of stress or boredom before approaching a woman. They can detect it from a mile away in your body language. Keep your arms open as you speak, use hand gestures or movements, smile and make eye contact.
#2. Low Self-Esteem
If you don’t buy into your value, why should she? This isn’t to say that women want an egocentric jerk; instead, they want someone who is secure and confident.
Avoid apologising for every little thing. Remember, you are offering her once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get to know you, make sure she knows you are special
If you are like most men, you want a little challenge. It would not be very satisfying to have everything you wanted with a simple snap of your fingers. Sure, it sounds lovely on the surface. But long term? Not so much.
Here’s the trick…
Imagine your interaction as an emotional bank account. Every time you tell a story, make a joke, share an intimacy, or make a statement, you are adding value to the interaction (making a deposit). Every time you try too hard to connect, you are taking away value (making a withdrawal).